May 03, 2005

"Do You, Jennifer, Take John as Your Husband, and Promise Never To Pull This Shit Again?"

New York Daily News

"The only good news is the authorities didn't start yanking Latinos out of blue vans all over the Southwest."
- Runaway Bride - New York Daily News

So, should she be busted? You tell me. On the one hand what's the use of locking up a harmless though narcissistic jerk?

Or is there maybe a problem with sapping the combined resources of the FBI, Georgia state and county officers and the entire 50-officer Duluth police department for nearly a week?

Just so she could "think", if that's what they call it in Vegas these days?

Now, although on the issue of crime I could usually be accused of leaning in the "Law and Order" direction, I reserve my real angst for murderers, rapists, child molesters, and other violent offenders. Not pot-smokers, jay-walkers, and runaway brides. I really want the prisons available to house the clods who deserve it.

In this case, though, there is still a question of culpability to be answered. Just as the Wendy's Chili Bowl Finger Faker has in effect destroyed a franchise owner and harmed a chain of restaurants in just the latest in a suspicious list of lawsuit incidents, the runaway bride crossed the proverbial line when she called in a blatantly false felony kidnapping.

As her unbelievably understanding fiance points out, it's not against the law to get cold feet. Running off isn't illegal. If she had simply taken a bus back to town and apologized for scaring everyone I wouldn't be writing this post. It happens.

But how many people went without real police attention that week? How much injury or mayhem did people suffer, if any? Could we possibly know?

And I don't know if it was 30 minutes or 2 hours or half a day between her 911 call and her subsequent confession. I don't know if whatever amount of time it was really caused any damage to anyone anywhere. She didn't hang on to that lie for days on end.

But in that time what if there had been a "hot-stop" on a blue van with a hispanic driver because of her hysterical story? What if someone got hurt or killed?

The FBI is just walking away from it. The fiance has forgiven her. The Duluth authorities are still mulling it over.

No harm, no foul?

Good luck with that marriage, though.


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